I Gotta Find My Place
by Emily Mayers
Summary: Jesse relives his story in the form of a fairytale-like dream, but what if he's not the knight in shining armor? Can he learn from his mistakes and win Rachel back?- The story takes place in Jesse's dream, and only ends in actual life. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

_**someone once told me  
that you have to choose  
what you win or lose  
you can't have everything  
don't you take chances  
you might feel the pain  
don't you love in vain  
cause love wont set you free  
I could stand by the side  
and watch this life pass me by  
so unhappy but safe as could be**_

_**Happy – Leona Lewis **_

Prologue:

When Jesse St. James was a kid, every night before he went to bed his mother would read him a fairy tale. And every time she did, when he would finally fall asleep, he would dream about them. He would dream about him being a bright knight, swoop in to save the princess, and they would both live happily ever after. Of course he knew that fairy tales aren't real, and there never really were knights that rescued beautiful princesses. But Jesse was a man who believed in metaphors, and after all, every story has one. A bright knight could be a young talented soon to be star (like himself) and a princess could just be an amazing girl.

But what were to happen, if say, Jesse St. James was not a knight. He was not the good guy. What if he was the bad guy? What if he wasn't the one to get the girl in the end, but the one to lose her because his reasons weren't pure? But Jesse knows that every story has its metaphors, and who knows, maybe him being the bad guy in the story, can change the pattern of story telling all together? Maybe the bad guy can get the girl in the end, and live his happily ever after?

That's what was on Jesses St. James' mind the night of regionals. He had brought Vocal Adrenaline to first place, and will soon be graduating from Carmel High School and beginning 'UCLA' in the fall. He should be sleeping, but something more important is currently on his mind and won't let him.

Rachel Berry.

Jesse remembers watching attentively as she wondered around the music store in search of something, and knowing that this was probably going to be his only chance to try and talk to her. He studied her features, noting how she was the spitting image of her mother, his instructor.

He knew it was her, it had to be.

He confidently strode over to her and introduced himself, which was followed by the stunning duet they preformed and the rounds of applause heard in the background. Jesse was used to the applause, but what he wasn't used to was the feeling at the pit of his stomach. He knew that the girl sitting beside him, the one who was shyly thanking the awed people surrounding her, was someone special. She could possibly be the only girl in this town that could do something with her life, a girl who was talented, driven, and dedicated, almost as much as he was.

So of course he couldn't help himself when he asked her out, but he kept reminding himself about how he was only doing this for Shelby, and trying not to get too attached.

He would carry her books, sing sweet songs to her, and be the best boyfriend he could be. And most of the time, he did it because he actually wanted to, and not only because it was an 'acting exercise'. He knew he was falling, but he honestly didn't care, because he genuinely liked this girl, and he thought it was nothing more.

But the minute "Run Joey Run" happened, he knew he messed up. Just by the way he felt watching it, the way he confronted her afterwards, the pain he felt at the thought of it, was enough for him to realize that he was in love with her.

He never knew how agonizing it was to be away from until he left for spring break with his friends from vocal adrenaline. He actually missed her, and it was killing him. The day he returned, Shelby Corcoran was waiting for him on his front porch, to get information about her daughter. She handed him the tape, and made it very clear to him that by the time regionals came along, she were to be reunited with her daughter, and he is to be was back on vocal adrenaline. And that was when he realized that this next week would be his last week with Rachel, and he knew he had to make the most of it. So he returned to McKinley, made her listen to the tape, and made every last kiss, every last touch, and every last song last before he was to leave. After that he returned to Carmel and started preparing for regionals.

Pressured by his team, he egged her. And only after it was over, he realized that was the first time he told her he loved her. Only it was bitter and cold and it came out wrong. He shouldn't have said it in past tense, he realizes. It only makes his chances of ever trying to win her back even harder then they already were.

He assumes Hudson is already by her side, trying to win her back, probably succeeding by the way she was singing to him during their regionals number.

So yes, a fairy tale seems to be the perfect metaphor for Jesse's life after all. Except that he wasn't the good guy. he wasn't the knight in shiny armor. He was the bad guy, the one who would always chose ruling the world instead of socializing (metaphorically, of course).

Lying in bed, Jesse wondered what his life would be like if it actually was a fairy tale, and not just metaphorically. And what if in his tale, the bad guy did get the girl, and won the happy ending he longed for.

And so, for the first time since he was 8 years old, Jesse had a dream, that mirrored his story exactly the way it would be if it were to occur in a fairy tale. But in this fairy tale, Jesse is going to try and kill the stigma of the bad guy always losing,

He was about to prove to himself that his happy ending could have come true, if he had made the right choices.

And maybe it still can.

And this is how Jesse's dream story began:

**A/N: This is the prologue to '****I Gotta Find My Place'**** , and I hoped you liked it! This was actually supposed to be a one-shot, but it ended up developing into something completely different. It feels original, so I think I'm going to flow with it. I might not update very often because I am practically drowning in school work, but I'll do my best to update as quickly as possible.**

**It really makes my day when people comment on my stories, so feel free to do so, because it will inspire me to write faster.**

**Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone! I am so so so sososososo sorry i haven't updated in a really long time, my computer stopped working and i couldn't write, and than my keyboard stopped working, and everything was just ahhhh.**

**anyway, here is the first official chapter! I hope you like it, even though its the second time i wrote it due to my computer crashing, and the first one was obviously better.**

**still, its better than nothing! :)**

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom called: "Ohio"

The Ohio kingdom was devided into areas, and one of those areas, was the 'carmel area' which was the most prestigious area in the whole kingdom.

And in the Carmel area, in a far away tower, lived a prince.

Jesse St. James, other wise known as Prince Jesse, was the most popular prince in the land, he was the man who all of the citizens wanted to be, and all of the women in the area fell to his feet.

Prince Jesse wasn't just an ordinary prince, who sits around and does nothing.

No, Prince Jesse was the one who led Vocal Adrenaline, (the Carmel area's official Glee guild) to 3 straight victories in a row in the 'national show choir guild competition'. It was said that Jesse was the most talented performer in Carmel, and he certainly would not hesitate to say this. Jesse was not just a great ruler, but he was the snakiest, most cynical prince in all the land.

It was told that prince Jesse cared only for himself, and his only friends were the ones who admired him, but no one had actually cared for him. And for those reasons, Prince Jesse was sort of lonely. But he knew that in order to rule bigger and brighter kingdoms, he would have to be.

Yet Jesse still wished that one day, he would have adoring fans, who would wait for him underneath his tower every morning, screaming at the top of their lungs, And would appreciate him not only for him looks and talent, but because he truly has a heart.

One bright day, Prince Jesse awoke to the sound of the birds singing outside of his window, he got dressed and walked down the stairs and into his kitchen. Expecting to find his mother in the kitchen, he was surprised to find a note on the kitchen counter instead.

'Dear Jesse. Your father and I have sailed off to Bali,, sorry for not informing you earlier, we will return in around 3 months, take care!

Much love, your mother'

He sighed and set the note back on the counter. Of course his parents weren't here, they never were.

He arranged his things and left for Carmel. When he reached Carmel he headed towards his glee guild practice, which was always the first thing he had to do everyday. Vocal Adrenaline practiced everyday in the morning, and then again at night. The rehearsals were tough, and people would get injured and hurt all the time, but that's what it took to be a star, working hard and dedication.

When he arrived at the auditorium, his director Shelby Corcoran, also known as queen of Akron called his name.

"Prince Jesse, I need to have a word with you"

He walked over to her and bowed graciously, as he always had to in front of the queen.

"What can I do for you Queen Corcoran?"

Shelby smiled at her favorite student, whom she knew she could trust with everything she told him.

"I have something I need to ask from you" she said. "It's a rather long story, so maybe you should sit down."

He did as she said, and sat down in the chair in front of hers.

"Look Prince Jesse, I know I can trust you, which is why I am going to give you a task that only you can perform. I trust that you tell no one of the purpose of this task, yes?"

Jesse nodded, trying not to grin. Not many people earn that kind of trust from the queen, and that was valuable for his future career.

"As you know, we have new competition in the Lima area, 'New Directions', apparently they are quite the group, and recently won they're Lima Area Sectionals"

Yes, Jesse has indeed heard of this group.

Not only that, but without Queen Corcoran's knowledge, He went to they're sectionals and watched them perform. He had to admit, they were a very impressive group, and especially they're lead female performer, who had an outstanding voice. Not as good as his own, but outstanding all the same.

"One of they're performers" She continued;

"Is Rachel Barbra Berry"

"Is she they're lead?"

"Yes, she is"

So that's her name, he thought to himself.

"Jesse, Rachel Berry is my daughter"

He let the news sink in. Rachel Berry was her daughter.

"You mean she's adopted?" He asked curiously.

"Not exactly" She sighed. "She has two male fathers, they asked me to be they're surrogate, and I agreed. It was much before I became queen, back when my mother was still alive and she wouldn't give me what I wanted, so I rebelled against her. It was stupid and childish, and I regretted it entirely.

"But than, the most incredible thing happened" She whispered.

"I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. And at that moment, the one thing I regretted more than being a surrogate, was… giving her up" Shelby's eyes now sparkled with sadness, as if she was about to burst into tears. Jesse was baffled; he had never seen the queen so vulnerable. It amazed him. The queen closed her eyes briefly, before opening them and continuing.

"I promised her parents that I wouldn't tell her that I was her mother until she became eighteen years old, but they never said anything about her finding me. That's where you come in, Prince Jesse"

He nodded. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to befriend her, make her trust you, and when the time is right, encourage her to find out who I am"

Jesse was confused, to say the least. He has never seen the queen so emotional, and even though he knew he was her favorite student, he knew she had never opened up like that in front of anyone else before. But a tiny part of him worried, that maybe she wasn't telling the whole truth, maybe there was something she wasn't telling him.

But who was he to disobey the queen?

"I'll do it" he finally said. "I'll befriend her, and get her to meet you"

The queen looked him in the eye.

"Thank you" she said. "You may leave. Tell the others practice begins in 10 minutes".

"Yes, Queen Corcoran" When he reached the doorway, the queen called out for him: "Oh, and Prince Jesse?"

He turned around. "Yes Queen Corcoran?"

She gave him the tiniest smile. "If you get this done before Regionals, I'll give you the grand solo. Remember that"

He nodded, and left the room, closing the door behind him. When he left, Shelby was still sitting, wiping away her fake tears, an evil grin on her face. She had absolutely no intention in losing Regionals this year.

And with Jesse's help, she knew she wouldn't.

**Thanks for reading! and please review, it really makes my day when you do. But reviews or no reviews, i will update sometime next week. have a good weekend! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: sorry, i know i said it would be sometime last week, so i was a little bit late. never mind, I have a brand new chapter for you now! Hope you like it :)**

When Rachel Berry went to her 'New Directions' Guild practice, she had never felt better before.

She had recently led her team to victory during last week's sectionals (thought no one would admit it), She finally won the boy she had been pining over the past year, the strongest knight in the entire Lima Area, Finn Hudson, and she felt as though things couldn't get any better.

On her way, she heard someone call her name; It was Mercedes and Kurt, fellow Glee Guild (or, Glee for short) members. She walked over to them.

"Hey guys!" she said enthusiastically.

"Hey Rach, Looking good girl" said Mercedes, followed by a friendly hello from Kurt.

Rachel smiled at her friends and started telling them about her ideas for regionals.

"You see, if we were to combine my incredible vocals, with dance moves and great background vocals, I am certain we'll win the competition." She stated.

Mercedes and Kurt looked at each other with knowing glances.

"Um, Rachel, we want to have solos too, this isn't your club"

"Oh, I know, since Master Schue is trying to ruin my life, I'm almost certain I wont get the grand solo, and there by lose regionals."

"Excuse me? I'm pretty sure that—"

Splash. Green, Blue, Sticky.

"Ha-ha, welcome back losers!" called Karofsky, a Lima warrior, after him and two other knights threw green and blue, 'Slushies', as they like to call them, at each of their faces. They all just stood there and stared at each other.

The popular knights and warriors from Lima liked to tease and push around people like them. Despite the fact that none of them are poor; they're not very high on the social ladder. In fact, the only reason they get pushed around is because they aren't knights, or princesses, but Glee Guild members. After they won sectionals, they were all sure people would start to respect them and they wouldn't be called losers anymore.

They all looked down at their clothes.

Yeah, definitely still losers.

They hurried into one of the public restrooms in the area and cleaned up. Realizing they were late for practice, they ran up to the public Lima theatre, went up the stairs that led to the choir room and entered the room. In the room, master Schuster was talking to the rest of the members about plans for regionals. When hearing them enter, they apologized for being late, and he told them to take a seat and continued talking.

"Alright guys, Now that everyone's here we can start practice"

When Practice was over, Rachel was on her way out of the building while thinking over some ideas for their assignment. They had to perform songs with the word 'hello' in them, and Rachel was filled with ideas. But when she saw her boyfriend walking in the hallway, all of her ideas went to the back of her mind as she strode towards him confidently. When he noticed her he gave her a small smile and kissed her cheek.

"Hey Rach, um, what's up?"

"Oh everything is great, just thinking of ideas for our assignment. You know, I was thinking we could do a duet together, so that—"

Rachel kept going on and on about her ideas as her and Finn left the building, though he wasn't really listening. He had too much on his mind to concentrate on what she was saying. Ever since he discovered his ex-girlfriend, Princess Fabrey had lied to him, and told him she was pregnant with his child, when in truth she had cheated on him and gotten pregnant, he couldn't concentrate on anything. Even though him and Rachel were sort of together now, he was still deeply in love with the princess, and his relationship with Rachel felt kind of forced. Even though he kind of liked her, he knew he could never really be with Rachel until he got over Quinn, but he couldn't find the right moment to tell her, so he didn't. He just let her do the talking, and he would pretend to be listening. It worked pretty well so far, although he knew he would have to break up with her eventually.

"So, what do you think?" He was thinking so hard, he didn't even remember what she was talking about to begin with.

"Uh, yeah, that sounds like a great idea" He said. Thank god, he told himself, I think she believes I was listening.

"Great! See you there" She said, and walked through the path to her tower. Uh oh, he thought. That was going to be a problem.

Rachel entered her tower and went up to her room. She had to get ready; she was supposed to meet Finn in the public library in an hour.

Prince Jesse was on his way home from Vocal Adrenaline practice, his body aching everywhere. When the queen is in a bad mood, as she was this morning, she would give them brutal rehearsals. But he knew that at the end of the day it would all be worth it, because those rehearsals help him train for his future career as a star. When he arrived home, he realized he had nothing to do, and since he didn't have many friends to call to come and hang out with him, he did what he always did when he was bored.

He went to the public library in Lima.

Even though there was a library in Akron, there were various reasons why he decided to go to the one in Lima. First of all, there were much more musical books and CDs, and secondly, when Jesse came to sing in the Akron library, people were used to his talent since he would sing there all the time, But in the Lima library, the people were new to his talent, and therefore he was much more admired there than in Akron.

But he didn't realize until he got there, that this is the same library Rachel Berry comes to.

And so, that was the day Rachel Barbra Berry and Jesse St. James met for the first time.

**There you have it, chapter 3! Yay, next chapter Jesse and Rachel meet for the first time in my world! Wonder whats going to happen... This time im not making any promises, because i have so much schoolwork and stuff to do, but in a few days im getting report cards and then i'll have a whole month to write! But until then, just wait for me OK? Dont worry, the next chapter WILL be here!**

**Please review, it'll really make me want to write faster. But, again, even if you review and even if you wont, the chapter will be up, i promise!**


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